I Am the Ocean

Dear Starlight,

This week walking my loop — an hour through fields and forest and down to the river — I found myself repeating out loud: I am the ocean. So I took my phone out and voice memoed the incantation, whispered into my hand as I walked along.

Have you noticed that most ancient gods have many names? Most adult humans have three or four given—then add their professional title, children often have more until they ask their mom to stop calling them: Pumpkin. And when you become close with someone, new names appear — nicknames rising almost unconsciously, little parts of someone glanced in the light, called out, a love blessing, a spell. When you say it, it connects you, binds you to them with magic, perhaps more than their given name even.

Sometimes the loudest name I hear in my room is Bad. The other day I heard Ocean.

I’m someone who falls hard for first feelings. So rather than edit, I’m sharing the incantation as it rolled out of me on the loop. That’s my 2026 practice — not getting better at what I’m not, but getting better at being what I am. Bad, right?

What part of you is wanting to be named?

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I am the ocean that is not safe

I am the ocean that swallows, spits, churns, turns, thrusts, heaves, swells, overwhelms, crashes

I am the ocean that sinks, storms, and destroys

I am the ocean bigger than anything here

I am the ocean that bore everything into being

I am the ocean with a world of darkness alive deep beneath my surface

I am the ocean always water always changing always

I am the ocean pushed and pulled by the moon and kissed by the stars

I am the ocean warmed by sun cooled by night

I am the ocean whipped and whirled by wind

I am the ocean absorbing, refracting, and reflecting the invisible

I am the ocean the color of light

I am the ocean tingly on the tongue salty, briny

I am the ocean sipping source dripped down the mountains heavenly body

I am the ocean coursing currents in all directions

I am the ocean that floats possibilities

I am the ocean that when you say my name, o-c-e-a-n you feel me shhusshing in your mouth

I am the ocean that when you hear my name, o-c-e-a-n you hear me sliding on the shore of your eardrums pounding the rhythm of your heart

I am the ocean waving come into me and swim for your life

PS. I am offering a one-day retreat next month and would love to play with you in the woods if you can join! Learn more on my website here. Please reach out directly with any questions.

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