In the morning, I drink my coffee strong and dark. As I pull the last sips from the mug, a heart appears in the base like a sun rising from the clouds of dark sediment. Each morning I see my coffee heart. Like a wink, like a sign. Each morning I feel my heart beating strong with caffeine, excited and ready to go. Each morning I journal as a dialogical practice.Â
I've been journaling most mornings since I was twenty years old, thanks to Julia Cameron's nudge in the Artist's Way. Music producer, Rick Rubin, calls these daily practices sustainable practices. I call them personal practices for resiliency.Â
For most years, I followed Julia's prescription to write three pages of first thoughts in the morning. These three pages were a safe dumping ground. They also became ritual. Each morning I began to trust that I would show up for myself for that short 1-1 and work out whatever I needed on the page with a good strong cup of coffee. A way to release pressure and skim the scum off my morning mood leaving me more relaxed and ready to receive the new day without all the carryover from the day before.
Last year I pivoted my practice. I created a new journaling routine built on the habit I had established. Rather than free running on the page for thirty minutes, I wanted to strengthen specific ways of being.Â
I start by wandering through the footsteps of yesterday, noting my gratitude.Â
I am grateful for the pain I felt that drove me to slow down and take a bath, where I listened to a marvelous interview about Biomimicry.
I am grateful that my furniture has found new homes.
I am grateful for the impromptu dinner invitation with a friend.
I am grateful for the sunlight and watching people bask outside like farm animals turning their heads upwards to the sky.
I am grateful for unraveling a sticky feeling of shame to uncover a more profound sense of desire to feel: soft, fresh, cared for
I am grateful to hear the owl at night singing: whoooo-who-whoo
Next, I acknowledge my action plan for my yearly goal: I want to be and feel more peaceful and truthful today. I will do this by…(fill in the blank). Then I wrap up the pages with a round table discussion with my Captains: Fear, Curiosity, and Courage. I invite these three voices to share their thoughts and feelings about whatever they want to discuss, generally in that order.Â
This journaling practice emerged last year for me to honor my 2022 goal and feel more peaceful. I recognized that Fear was and had been on autopilot for most of my daily life, and I could not feel peaceful if Fear was steering my ship. I recognized the need to bring my awareness to what Fear was feeling and thinking so I could choose whether or not I wanted to follow its direction versus doing it without consciousness. I realized the other two co-captains, Curiosity and Compassion, powerfully aid the conversation. Mostly because my Fearful Captain is a young and terrified inner child. Bringing Curiosity brings openness to unknown possibilities, and Compassion brings healing, both a salve to the wounds Fear still feels and encouragement, which is the remedy for bold, heart-led action.
This is a literal conversation between the three Captains–each with a unique voice. When we discuss ourselves, hidden in plain sight, buried in the word, is the fact that we are made of many selves. Often, we are not communing with all selves, nor are we honoring the needs of ourselves.Â
I've found Fear to sound a lot like my angry teen. Who comes into a room in a flurry with a heightened all-knowing-bossy-bully vibe speaking with growing urgency and agitation. Fear doesn't use beautiful vocabulary and often ends sentences with something like: "You're dumb; what are you even doing?!"
Curiosity is calm and inquisitive, and takes time before asking questions. What I love about Curiosity is that they never tell Fear they are wrong but instead just asks a few pointed questions that open paradigms. "Could this…? What if…?Â
Compassion is my favorite Captain, the one I want to run to, jumping into their arms and curling my body into theirs. They are new to me. A voice I have not heard for much of my life. Compassion is so kind. They are welcoming of Fear and even grateful for Fear's vigilance. They also always seem to know that Fear is trembling despite their cunty voice. Compassion offers back love and acknowledgment to Fear and then powerfully acknowledges where my heart's desires are on the map and give measured guidance for the next steps toward those places. Compassion advocates for my most authentic needs, mending the breaks from before and encouraging tomorrow's risks.Â
The other day looking at my heart rise at the bottom of my mug, I thought about wholeness and how I could increase my personal practice to include more of my whole self; Mind, Body, Heart, and Spirit. I walked around my compass wheel, wondering and jotting ideas and notes. I recognized that my Captains are the mind's voice, but what about the body, the heart, and spirits knowing?Â
Mind: Diological journaling
Body: Body scanning, breath work, rest, exercise, bathing
Heart:?
Spirit: Prayer, nature Immersion
I couldn't think of what was my heart's practice. I couldn't decipher if the heart could be separated from the other three quadrants on the wheel. Then suddenly, I saw what I had seen in Iceland a decade ago when I created a simple word: Heartlisten.
HEARt
HeART
Heart for me is my art practice, and listening or being guided to discovery by my art practice! Eureka!!! It is the process of creating. Which can be making ceramics, brownies, redecorating a room, or writing a poem. It is any activity where I am deeply engaged in the creation process.1
In his new book,The Creative Act: A Way of Being, Rick Rubin talks about the creative process and the importance of sustainable practices. Which are the small daily practices that nurture your creativity. Twyla Tharp similarly discusses in her book, The Creative Habit. I call them personal practices for resiliency because they become ballasts to hold onto in the storms of life. Over time they become more than navigational tools. They become sanctuary.
Exercise: Walk the compass wheel. Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit with the question: What do you desire?2 Examine your daily life’s routines. Is there a daily practice you can begin or modify that satisfies your desires?
Do: Choose a daily practice or amendment to a practice that honors your wholeness.
Dare: Begin today as a test. Try your practice for a week. At the end of the week write a report. How did it go? What was challenging and what was rewarding? What do you want to adjust? Commit to another week.
Tell me how it went!
I also noted that walking in nature is the one practice that integrates all the quadrants. It is a practice that activates the knowing of mind, body, heart, and spirit.
I learned to apply our desires to the medicine wheel from Roxanne Partridge from embodyperiod. However, the medicine wheel is an ancient traditional Native American methodology and belief system with many applications.